sad because you can’t watch fanfics
Found these cards.
i want to frame these and put them on the wall.
sad because you can’t watch fanfics
- incredibly long crosscountry train ride AU
- police procedural AU
- bookstore AU
- reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
- platonic living together AU
- lawyers AU
- stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it’s-like-two-am AU
- sent to live with cousins AU
- pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
- teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU
- pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-i-ran-into AU
- forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
- law school AU
HERE HAVE SOME MORE
- on the same college tour AU
- trapped in a bank during a robbery AU
- forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU
- DOCTORS AU
- medical school AU
- ride the same bus together literally every day AU
- vet clinic AU
- 'i'm pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u' AU
- college professors AU
- on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU
is it okay if I add some
- met at a ren faire AU
- sat next to each other on a roller coaster AU
- got locked out of dorm room AU
- camping in the same area AU
- hurricane during a beach trip AU
- met at a card game competition AU
- kids go to the same school AU
- little kids getting way too caught up in make-believe AU
- got involved in a heated game of Smash Bros. at a con AU
- cosplayed as the same character AU
hello yes here’s more
- snowed in AU
- lives alone in the woods by a waterfall and finds a confused lost person walking around AU
- fighting a squirrel AU
- finding a puppy on the side of the road AU
- asthma attack without the inhaler in the middle of the night and the other one sings to calm them down AU
- spy AU
- con artists AU
- grew up as best friends but you got hot over the summer can i touch ur biceps AU
- war prisoner/captor who lets them go but they want to stay AU
- scared of flying AU
- x-men with powers of fire and ice AU
- your dog likes my dog you should date me or something idk i mean it’s only appropriate AU
- photograper/actor AU
- repairman AU
- strip club AU
- surfer AU
- private security AU
Commissioned by the talented artist nymre
She does amazing art and was the one who created this modern Zuko and Katara for me.
PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS ART
Conceal, Don’t Feel
I was laughing so fucking hard during this.
i finally got around to answering this anon, and i really really really wanted to. even though it’s sloppy, i had fun. <3
it ended up a million times cheesier than how it started, i don’t know how i managed that.
tiny ginny weasley, growing up with six brothers, deathly afraid of being branded “girly”, because “girly” from the sneering mouths of fred and george meant weak, inadequate, pathetic
ginny weasley at eight years old, sick of her hair flowing down to her bottom, sick of tying it into plaits and pigtails, grabbing a pair of scissors and chopping it all off with messy hacks - then molly was gasping, snatching the scissors from her grasp, yelling at her and mourning her “beautiful, beautiful” hair
ginny weasley at twelve years old, fresh from the horrors of her first year and accepting her dorm-mate’s mascara. after everything that happened, she’s trying to make friends, and her dorm-mates are trying too. so she takes the mascara wand and, for the first time, applies it. it’s clumpy and uneven but her dorm-mates help her perfect it - it’s girly and feminine and against everything she’s ever stood for, against the reputation she had built at the burrow, but she kind of likes the dark weight on her eyelashes
ginny weasley slowly recognising and destroying her internalised misogyny as she progresses through hogwarts - ginny weasley embracing makeup and quidditch in equal measures, ginny weasley burping the alphabet and squeezing into the tiniest of skirts, ginny weasley being stark and cold and fearsome as well as giggly and sweet and flirty. ginny weasley standing up for the tomboys of hogwarts as well as the girliest of girls. don’t fuck with girl-power ginny weasley or you’ll be bat-bogey hexed into next week.
These, for me, are the two most depressing paintings in western history. They were painted by post-impressionist Henry de Toulouse-Lautrec, a man who, due to inbreeding, was born with a genetic disorder that prevented his legs from growing after they were broken. After being so thoroughly mocked for is appearance, he became an alcoholic, which is what eventually caused his institutionalization and death. His only known romantic relations were with prostitutes.
And then he paints something like this which is so beautiful and tender and sentimental. It seems like the couple in bed really loves each other—cares about each other. Wakes up happy to look at each other. And I see that love and passion and I wonder how lonely he must have been. I wonder how he could paint something like this without it breaking his heart.
Maybe they say artists should create what they know, not because its unbelievable when they extend themselves beyond their experiences, but because when they pull it off with such elegance, it’s so damn unbearable to look at. I hate thinking of Lautrec, wondering about the lovers he created and knowing it was beyond his experience. Creating something that he knows is beautiful and knows he’ll never really understand.
what's the weirdest thing you were ever hired for?
I’ll copy/paste from an old blog post.
A few months ago (2010) I received an e-mail asking me if I could draw hentai for school children. I almost didn’t reply because that sounded too much like a hoax. But the e-mail came from an ad agency and it seemed legit. I had nothing to lose by seeing where this would go so I said I was interested. If anything, I would’ve liked to be embroiled in a scandal with demagogue pundits screaming will someone think of the children!
Next the ad agency wanted me to quote a price but couldn’t tell me exactly what the illustration was. It wasn’t their fault, the client wouldn’t tell the agency what it was, except they wanted two androgynous hentai characters. And the price needed to be final. So I overcharged a bit what I thought it could be worth, just to make sure I wouldn’t end up actually undercharging if the work happened to be more than I expected. I didn’t like doing that, but it’s not my fault the client isn’t giving me a full description of what he wants. But in the end, it turns out I charged just the right price considering the work demanded.
Two weeks pass and I don’t hear from the ad agency. I figure they found someone cheaper. I forgot about it but then the ad agency asks for my port folio. Now I got a problem. They want hentai for school children? Really?? Do they know what hentai is? Do they think hentai is a synonim for anime or manga? I don’t want to e-mail a picture of a facial cumshot and freak out the designer. So I e-mail her and ask her if she knows the difference between hentai and anime. You know hentai is porn, right? She asks me to phone her… Getting through the agency’s phone system, now I know this is legit. I talk to the designer. She explains she knows exactly what hentai is and she asked the same question to the client. She told the client that hentai is porn. The client answers, “you’re generalizing”. Uh, no she’s not. Ok, hentai means perverted and it can be something as trivial as a panty shot. But still, hentai is exploitation, it’s a type of porn.
The client’s previous ad campaign didn’t reach kids as much as they wanted. They used childish kids cartoon and nobody cared. So they want something that’s anime, but not childish. They don’t want something like Pokémon. So something more like those Bishounen and shojo or whatever it’s called (too lazy to check Wikipedia). But that’s not hentai. But why do they need to be androgynous? Like yaoi?? And did I hear something about oral sex hygiene??? I’m very confused but at least I know this is serious.
I send a non-porn port folio or my most “anime looking” illustrations. Turns out the client like the one that looks the least like anime… *sigh* But I’m approved and I can start working on the project. I’ve made an animation Gif of the whole (slow and long; you know, bureaucrats) process.
Turns out the client is the Health Ministry. It’s not about oral sex, it’s about preventing bad breath by brushing your tongue. But why are they androgynous?? I guess a boy and a girl can’t be in the same bathroom. And that was the hard part. It’s easy to draw a tomboy or an effeminate man. Or a butch or an obvious trap. But drawing someone you really can’t tell, that’s hard. I’m not sure I’ve succeeded either.
Anyway, I’ve received my paycheck today and the mirror the illustration was printed on was in the envelope. There’s a magnet behind so kids can stick it on their locker’s door. Sorry kids, maybe you’ll get some real government hentai someday.
On the one hand, I try to keep this Tumblr primarily SFW, and so apologize in advance if the above-quoted verbiage offends anyone who is here for their robot/retro fixes. On the other hand, that is probably the most insane story about art freelancing for the Canadian Ministry of Health in existence. Like, I don’t even know how many contenders there can be for that title, but I’m pretty sure this one is the winner? I barely even know how to tag this.